In a time in the not so distant past when girls and women weren’t given options so much as a singular choice, Marylee became pregnant at the age of fifteen. Society’s harsh views of right and wrong dictated her and her baby’s outcome despite the future she may have desired. Adopted herself as an infant, Marylee knew the rosy and touted as “better for the baby and all involved” picture of adoption wasn’t always true. In this brutally honest and unflinching memoir, Marylee dissects her feelings and the effects adoption has had on her life, both as a child and mother.
This book analyzes the question of what makes us who we are? Is it our genetic background, the family we grow up with, our life choices? How do these combine to form us? Marylee uses both her personal background and academic research to try and answer these questions as they pertain to her own life. From a young age, she knew she was adopted, but she struggled with unnamed feelings and a need to prove herself for as long as she could remember.
A long string of family crises and household changes put her in a position where she was able to not only date, but have ample alone time with her boyfriend, John. However, once her pregnancy was revealed, she largely shouldered the burden alone while he continued to mostly live his life as usual in her absence. The majority of the book details her time in a home for unwed mothers, where she met a variety of girls and women. The overall atmosphere and the near neglect of their emotional well-being will feel appalling and foreign to a modern-day reader, yet there is a strength in the friendships that are formed and their support of one another.
Resilient and determined, Marylee embodies the word fortitude. Throughout her life, she was met with setback after setback, yet she continued to push forward. Her story describes her own early life, her emotional turmoil from giving up her oldest son, and her reconnection with him as an adult. This would have been a higher rating from me if she had acknowledged that not all adopted children would have the same feelings of abandonment or not fitting in. At times, her take away from the research quoted left me uncomfortable since she did not share other viewpoints or cases where adoption had a positive outcome.
This book analyzes the question of what makes us who we are? Is it our genetic background, the family we grow up with, our life choices? How do these combine to form us? Marylee uses both her personal background and academic research to try and answer these questions as they pertain to her own life. From a young age, she knew she was adopted, but she struggled with unnamed feelings and a need to prove herself for as long as she could remember.
A long string of family crises and household changes put her in a position where she was able to not only date, but have ample alone time with her boyfriend, John. However, once her pregnancy was revealed, she largely shouldered the burden alone while he continued to mostly live his life as usual in her absence. The majority of the book details her time in a home for unwed mothers, where she met a variety of girls and women. The overall atmosphere and the near neglect of their emotional well-being will feel appalling and foreign to a modern-day reader, yet there is a strength in the friendships that are formed and their support of one another.
Resilient and determined, Marylee embodies the word fortitude. Throughout her life, she was met with setback after setback, yet she continued to push forward. Her story describes her own early life, her emotional turmoil from giving up her oldest son, and her reconnection with him as an adult. This would have been a higher rating from me if she had acknowledged that not all adopted children would have the same feelings of abandonment or not fitting in. At times, her take away from the research quoted left me uncomfortable since she did not share other viewpoints or cases where adoption had a positive outcome.