~Why does Sawyer need a point of view? What do we gain from Sawyer getting a point of view? Without his sections we could have put energy into Jake, bulking up horror story, side characters, world, maybe more on race, black queerness.
~The writing is off- things just be happening. Nothing is built or interesting. It can be chaotic.
~This story is weird.
~The editors aren’t editing.
~It feels like a first or second or just unfinished draft that needs be polished.
~The suspense is off I think it is because so much was poorly built, revealed, and obvious.
~I kept asking over and over why should we care about any of these characters?
~No tension. no thrills. Lack of emotional attachment.
A. Maybe the issues comes from the story telling us instead of showing us and things just happening.
B. Jake is not a good friend or person to be around. He is made to be right all the time. I just did not connect with him. I like “unlikeable” characters probably more than many other readers do so this is not unlikeable = poor writing. This is poor writig = character I could not connect with.
~the romance is written in ya style of romance that is quirky and overly familiar early which does not show/ build/ make me feel connection with it.