The cover is fine. Perhaps a little dull? It's nice, but I would probably pass it over in a pile of books unless everything else in that pile looked awful.
I feel like the intro before the first chapter was extremely interesting. It felt strong and sucked me in. Then the first chapter kinda just burned out all that sizzle. I've read so many stories that start off with a family in the kitchen right before school. The chapter just feels very suburban "going through the motions." There's little action and it's just dull. Also, sometimes the dialogue is a little confusing. Sometimes there's a description of what someone is doing then their dialogue followed by the actions of another character and their dialogue all in the same small paragraph. The flow is off.
Finally, there seems to be a lot of movement going on--jumping from scene to scene without much happening in each location and no clarification where one scene ends and another begins. She's in the office and the next minute she's in the car. It's very distracting.
I feel like the intro before the first chapter was extremely interesting. It felt strong and sucked me in. Then the first chapter kinda just burned out all that sizzle. I've read so many stories that start off with a family in the kitchen right before school. The chapter just feels very suburban "going through the motions." There's little action and it's just dull. Also, sometimes the dialogue is a little confusing. Sometimes there's a description of what someone is doing then their dialogue followed by the actions of another character and their dialogue all in the same small paragraph. The flow is off.
Finally, there seems to be a lot of movement going on--jumping from scene to scene without much happening in each location and no clarification where one scene ends and another begins. She's in the office and the next minute she's in the car. It's very distracting.