DNF @ 34%
This came off as underdeveloped IMO. I think the premise is really interesting and I like certain aspects (the way Teo and Cielo view gender and the fact that there's finally a book with a stepmother who isn't terrible and actually loves her stepchildren). I also kinda like that it gets surprisingly dark, especially for YA.
But it's coming off very flat and emotionless. There's plenty that is happening, but it feels rushed and things happen and then get brushed aside. I decided to DNF when (SPOILER: the main character's little brother, who she adores, gets brutally murdered by her older brother and it took her less than a page to seemingly move on. And I get that people grieve differently, and I'm sure it'll probably come up again later, but I can't get over the fact that she's thirsting after Cielo the day after her little brother is killed. Maybe save the physical romance building for another time. And if that time was needed to build the romance, then at least add some emotions into that scene and have Cielo comfort her.) Even though that was my stopping point, there were plenty of other times where things would happen randomly and I'd be taken aback because it felt so out of place with the scenes before and after (like the kiss to seal the deal). It's almost like there were bullet points of what was happening, and very little transition was given when jumping between the plot points. There was no buildup because things would just happen and then be moved on from immediately.
Some things also just don't make sense. I know I'm only a third of the way in, but at this point my questions are more about trying to understand character motivations. Why did she let her eldest brother get away with abusing her and her little brother? Why didn't she tell her parents? She explains that she was worried he would just make it worse, but it's not like she's powerless. She could've threatened him back or actually done something about it much sooner. Why does she think her plan is going to work? Why does Cielo think it'll work? All the Strega we've met are only able to practice their own particular brand of magic so how does she think she can change her abilities when nobody else seemingly can? Why (SPOILER: did she leave her little brother's body behind in the woods? Couldn't she have transformed him into something she could always keep with her? Better yet, why didn't she transform him into something alive? She was able to transform two trees into a giant fish and a goat, so why couldn't she transform him into an animal of some kind? And if it's only living -> living things then how is she able to transform people into non-living things (like the music box)? She never even considered turning him into anything, so we never got an explanation or her trying and failing.) And that other strega in the woods, his magic doesn't make sense either. They say his power is to turn visible things invisible and vice versa. But he's also able to take "fears" out of someone's head and turn them into physical stones. Fear and memories aren't just invisible they're intangible. It would make sense if he could turn something unable to be seen (like O2 molecules in the air) and make those visible, but it feels like turning the intangible tangible should be outside of his scope based on the description of his magic we were given. Teo also could've asked for his help nicely at first. She just met the guy and she was being super bitchy towards him. Her threats felt stupid and empty because couldn't he have just taken all her memories by turning them into tangible things and keeping them to himself? Or turning them invisible so she couldn't find them? But instead, her threats actually scare him. Enough so that Cielo reminds him of Teo's threats to try to get more out of him. It just doesn't make sense. There's more and I could go on, but I'll just stop there. It's not a terrible book, I actually thinking the bones of the story are very good, but I wish it were more developed. A couple of more rounds of editing and I think this could've been incredible.
This came off as underdeveloped IMO. I think the premise is really interesting and I like certain aspects (the way Teo and Cielo view gender and the fact that there's finally a book with a stepmother who isn't terrible and actually loves her stepchildren). I also kinda like that it gets surprisingly dark, especially for YA.
But it's coming off very flat and emotionless. There's plenty that is happening, but it feels rushed and things happen and then get brushed aside. I decided to DNF when (SPOILER: the main character's little brother, who she adores, gets brutally murdered by her older brother and it took her less than a page to seemingly move on. And I get that people grieve differently, and I'm sure it'll probably come up again later, but I can't get over the fact that she's thirsting after Cielo the day after her little brother is killed. Maybe save the physical romance building for another time. And if that time was needed to build the romance, then at least add some emotions into that scene and have Cielo comfort her.) Even though that was my stopping point, there were plenty of other times where things would happen randomly and I'd be taken aback because it felt so out of place with the scenes before and after (like the kiss to seal the deal). It's almost like there were bullet points of what was happening, and very little transition was given when jumping between the plot points. There was no buildup because things would just happen and then be moved on from immediately.
Some things also just don't make sense. I know I'm only a third of the way in, but at this point my questions are more about trying to understand character motivations. Why did she let her eldest brother get away with abusing her and her little brother? Why didn't she tell her parents? She explains that she was worried he would just make it worse, but it's not like she's powerless. She could've threatened him back or actually done something about it much sooner. Why does she think her plan is going to work? Why does Cielo think it'll work? All the Strega we've met are only able to practice their own particular brand of magic so how does she think she can change her abilities when nobody else seemingly can? Why (SPOILER: did she leave her little brother's body behind in the woods? Couldn't she have transformed him into something she could always keep with her? Better yet, why didn't she transform him into something alive? She was able to transform two trees into a giant fish and a goat, so why couldn't she transform him into an animal of some kind? And if it's only living -> living things then how is she able to transform people into non-living things (like the music box)? She never even considered turning him into anything, so we never got an explanation or her trying and failing.) And that other strega in the woods, his magic doesn't make sense either. They say his power is to turn visible things invisible and vice versa. But he's also able to take "fears" out of someone's head and turn them into physical stones. Fear and memories aren't just invisible they're intangible. It would make sense if he could turn something unable to be seen (like O2 molecules in the air) and make those visible, but it feels like turning the intangible tangible should be outside of his scope based on the description of his magic we were given. Teo also could've asked for his help nicely at first. She just met the guy and she was being super bitchy towards him. Her threats felt stupid and empty because couldn't he have just taken all her memories by turning them into tangible things and keeping them to himself? Or turning them invisible so she couldn't find them? But instead, her threats actually scare him. Enough so that Cielo reminds him of Teo's threats to try to get more out of him. It just doesn't make sense. There's more and I could go on, but I'll just stop there. It's not a terrible book, I actually thinking the bones of the story are very good, but I wish it were more developed. A couple of more rounds of editing and I think this could've been incredible.