Wow.
I cried through most of this book. It is not subtle with how bad fatphobia can be. Fipps didn’t pull any punches. The author note at the end even made it clear that these were things that happened to her at some points in her life. The sheer amount of bullying and the sheer nastiness is astonishing. I don’t doubt a single one of the events. I have heard so many similar stories from my wife. I had heard similar words from my own mother and grandmother.
There is so much to this book that is important, but it is one of those books that should be read with an adult. There is a lot of intense bullying. There is also a lot of intense healing. It is also realistic healing. It takes El time to learn how to trust herself, how to stand up for herself, and how to take up the space she deserves.
Bit of a spoiler, but El doesn’t forgive her mother. El shouldn’t forgive her mother, just because of words. Her mother needs to earn her forgiveness. This was the most realistic bullying story ever. The mother is the worst bully. It is clear the bullies are wrong. Pretty much no one does anything about the bullying, so El internalizes all of it. It is exactly how bullying works.
This book shows exactly why my wife asks my permission before they wear certain clothes. They worry about what I will say about them and think. They worry about what others will say and think, instead of their own comfort. Remember, all bodies are good bodies. If wearing a crop top and short shorts gives you joy, then you have the exact right body for them. I will personally cheer you on. And if you feel like you need permission for space, I will gladly give it. I will encourage it. Be like El. Learn to love yourself and learn to starfish.
I cried through most of this book. It is not subtle with how bad fatphobia can be. Fipps didn’t pull any punches. The author note at the end even made it clear that these were things that happened to her at some points in her life. The sheer amount of bullying and the sheer nastiness is astonishing. I don’t doubt a single one of the events. I have heard so many similar stories from my wife. I had heard similar words from my own mother and grandmother.
There is so much to this book that is important, but it is one of those books that should be read with an adult. There is a lot of intense bullying. There is also a lot of intense healing. It is also realistic healing. It takes El time to learn how to trust herself, how to stand up for herself, and how to take up the space she deserves.
Bit of a spoiler, but El doesn’t forgive her mother. El shouldn’t forgive her mother, just because of words. Her mother needs to earn her forgiveness. This was the most realistic bullying story ever. The mother is the worst bully. It is clear the bullies are wrong. Pretty much no one does anything about the bullying, so El internalizes all of it. It is exactly how bullying works.
This book shows exactly why my wife asks my permission before they wear certain clothes. They worry about what I will say about them and think. They worry about what others will say and think, instead of their own comfort. Remember, all bodies are good bodies. If wearing a crop top and short shorts gives you joy, then you have the exact right body for them. I will personally cheer you on. And if you feel like you need permission for space, I will gladly give it. I will encourage it. Be like El. Learn to love yourself and learn to starfish.