Wasn't expecting to relive all my middle school feels but here we are
Ellie has always been fat. This doesn't stop her mom from encouraging her to lose weight at every opportunity. Or her siblings and classmates from calling her whale and splash. Ellie lives by her Fat Girl Rules: never eat in public, no making waves, move slowly so her body doesn't jiggle. But Ellie has allies too, her dad, her new therapist and Catalina, her new neighbor. Maybe Ellie can break free of the Fat Girl Rules once and for all.
I felt so much for Ellie. I was Ellie in middle school. I was small and round and no one would ever let me forget it. Like Ellie, so much of what's said by others around you affects how you think about yourself. People think it's okay to make fun of fat people because being fat is "unhealthy" when being fat doesn't always equate to health. Seeing Ellie try to be herself in the midst of all the negative responses was so damn hard and I just wanted her to be able to be a kid and have fun.
While I have grown out of some of my behaviors from those days, I can't help but wonder what still lingers. How many times do we have to push someone down before they give up? What happens to those people who don't have access to the opportunities Ellie does? Or they have other intersecting identities such as being BIPOC, trans, queer, disabled? I just can't help but imagine how many ways this story could go wrong, especially since I have been there and it's a dark, dark place.
Ultimately, this book has hope and that was something I was so grateful for. I wish 12 year old me had this book, because there were so many negative messages about my body and how I should feel about it and almost zero positive or even neutral ones. A lot of the fatphobia in this is challenged, but there is so much that I found myself overwhelmed at times. To my fat readers, please tread carefully.
Rep: white Christian-Jewish fat female MC, Mexican-American female side character, white female side character, Jewish male side character, Mexican-American family side characters.
CWs: Fatphobia (like so so much), bullying, child/emotional abuse, gaslighting, body shaming, racism.
I felt so much for Ellie. I was Ellie in middle school. I was small and round and no one would ever let me forget it. Like Ellie, so much of what's said by others around you affects how you think about yourself. People think it's okay to make fun of fat people because being fat is "unhealthy" when being fat doesn't always equate to health. Seeing Ellie try to be herself in the midst of all the negative responses was so damn hard and I just wanted her to be able to be a kid and have fun.
While I have grown out of some of my behaviors from those days, I can't help but wonder what still lingers. How many times do we have to push someone down before they give up? What happens to those people who don't have access to the opportunities Ellie does? Or they have other intersecting identities such as being BIPOC, trans, queer, disabled? I just can't help but imagine how many ways this story could go wrong, especially since I have been there and it's a dark, dark place.
Ultimately, this book has hope and that was something I was so grateful for. I wish 12 year old me had this book, because there were so many negative messages about my body and how I should feel about it and almost zero positive or even neutral ones. A lot of the fatphobia in this is challenged, but there is so much that I found myself overwhelmed at times. To my fat readers, please tread carefully.
Rep: white Christian-Jewish fat female MC, Mexican-American female side character, white female side character, Jewish male side character, Mexican-American family side characters.
CWs: Fatphobia (like so so much), bullying, child/emotional abuse, gaslighting, body shaming, racism.