Potential Black Swan vibes

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Disclaimer: I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Thank you to Fantastic Flying Book Club and Tor Teen for this free copy. All quotes in this review are taken from the Advanced Reader Copy and may change in final publication.

Not gonna lie: the cover totally gave me Black Swan vibes and I never even watched the movie. It’s a psychological horror, I can’t do that. But I knew I had to share some gifs of my forever fave Natalie Portman for this review because she is the Sparrow I see right now.

Anyway, books like this literally kill my heart because I can’t bear to read any more novels about girls being abused and being forced to hide their hurt and their abuse from the outside world because people won’t believe them if they speak up. I’m so freaking pissed at what she had to deal with, and I freaking am dying that she legit sees herself as “prey” right now, you know? Ugh this is not what I want you to think, Sparrow. YOU are not prey, no matter what you’ve gone through. YOU are so much more than that.

Okay yes I’m getting hella emotional about this because I feel like that one line about her being “still prey” in the synopsis, and then reading about what she went through not only from when her mom was alive but what her “boyfriend” Tristan did to her – no spoilers – just sickens me. Completely sickens me because us girls need to be loved and cared for and protected at all costs.

I understand that we all have a past. I don’t think there’s anyone I’ve ever met that doesn’t have some sort of past that they want to forget about, or are still healing from. Even if they are healed from it, they still have it in the back of their mind and it’s what made them into the person they are today. So I get that both Sparrow and Lucas have their past to deal with, and I love the fact that Sparrow puts her love and soul into the world of ballet. I know I could never do it. The discipline and the physical pain and the perfection you have to have to be just right, just perfect really, takes a lot of effort and I feel like that’s why Sparrow puts her whole self into it. And maybe I was going off in a different tangent with this paragraph but now I’m just sad again because Sparrow is just trying to find hope in the world again. She doesn’t need to be prey to have hope. I just need Sparrow to be okay.

Okay I’m gonna go cry my eyes out now.