I was pleasantly surprised by the writing of the opening passage, which depicts a family being torn apart as they attempt to cross from Cuba to the US. While I don't think there was anything original happening here, it was presented pretty nicely and sets up Galan's family and how the story will unfold as synopsis says.
The writing coming back to the coast guard section, however, felt not as a great. I could tell the author was in the coast guard and really wanted to show that he knew his stuff, to the detriment of the writing. It was all a lot more technical and wordy than it needed to be; a finer balance of story and technical writing would have worked better.
So far this is intriguing, though I wish there had been more in the excerpt to set up the friendship between the two men!
The writing coming back to the coast guard section, however, felt not as a great. I could tell the author was in the coast guard and really wanted to show that he knew his stuff, to the detriment of the writing. It was all a lot more technical and wordy than it needed to be; a finer balance of story and technical writing would have worked better.
So far this is intriguing, though I wish there had been more in the excerpt to set up the friendship between the two men!