An Achingly Deep and Accurate Portrayal of Mental Ilness

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"Grief feels like this:
an okay day and a good day and an okay day
then a bad.
Bad that follows and empties you.
Bad like a sinkhole."


This novel follows Biz, a girl whose father died when she was young and she's still going through grief and disassociation during her late teenage years. Her father still appears to her in visions that she has and he still speaks to her often. The narration is incredibly influenced by how Biz is feeling and I thought that it captured her as an unreliable narrator so, so well. It's hard to explain exactly what this book is, but it's mainly an exploration of Biz trying to bring her father back and trying to deal with the impact his death has left behind on her entire life. This is the kind of book that pulls you in and makes you really feel for the characters.

I think that Biz's narration was amazing— her voice is sarcastic and hopeful, and she's genuinely trying. Biz is a certain kind of mess: she really, really wishes that she could be "better" but she will make bad decisions, and I think that this accurately portrays the kind of funnel mental illness can put you in. Also, this isn't only written in prose; it has sections of beautiful, poetic writing. I just?? do not know how to describe this.

"I am dead in infinite alternate universes. I am mostly and most likely dead. I am dead, now, here. all doors opening, all doors closed."