The way that this is written doesn't appeal to me. It's really odd and I don't know quite how to describe it but there are so many sentences which each thought that Bethany has.
There's also too much detail in some areas and not enough in others. Like we got to learn all about what Bethany's lunch box looks like but not enough about other things like the setting or what Oliver looks like.
There's also too much detail in some areas and not enough in others. Like we got to learn all about what Bethany's lunch box looks like but not enough about other things like the setting or what Oliver looks like.