I came into this book blind. I don't read the NYT and I'd never heard of Jennifer Finney Boylan. But the book has a black lab on the cover, and black labs are my weakness, so I took a peek at the First Look. I couldn't be more grateful that I did. I loved the writing style and I giggled often, so much so that this book became the very first that I claimed with my points. When I cracked my copy open, I expected a light-hearted and humorous memoir about the author's life with dogs. Well.....it's that, true. But it is so much more. This book has a depth I never expected to find. While I laughed out loud numerous times, I also cried more than once. Boylan's journey is profoundly heartbreaking. Many people (me included) are unable to understand what a transgender person has to deal with in their life. This book is an intimate look at how Jennifer grew from a young boy, who knew without a doubt that "you are not you" for most if not all of his/her life. When she sat by the pool as a young boy, with a dull knife in her hand, envisioning her end, it broke my heart. No one should ever feel that way because they are so uncomfortable in their skin. Boylan often mentioned how in the world of men, there is a code of silence and emotions are not expressed, at least not verbally. I found it ironic that this book kind of does the same thing. She deflects that sadness and the pain that she endured by lighthearted humor and an impeccable wit. But beneath the surface there is an ocean of pain too deep to dive. Even the title of the book is more than it might initially appear. That title isn't about the 7 dogs she shared her life with....it's about that little boy whose father described him as "not much" after birth.
For as deeply moving as this book is on a deeper level, it is also refreshingly funny. I loved Boylan's manner of describing her dogs' thoughts and emotions and the many conversations she'd have with them. She describes these dogs so vividly and captures their personalities so well that I feel like I know them. When she described the metamorphosis of her relationship with Penny/Sausage, I cried more than a few tears. She says "I had loved my sad, gelatinous dog with all my heart, for years and years....But then one by one, I put the things of my childhood aside, and Penny was one of them. I held her in my arms, as if she were already gone, as if all these days had long since become a distant memory." That recollection was so painful for me to read, both for the dog being left behind (emotionally) and for the childhood that was lost.
This book was a fantastic read. I have never chosen a memoir by a person that I was unfamiliar with. But this book is so well written, so endearing, and so important that I could not pass it up. I think everyone should read a book like this, to understand how a transgender person moves through the world. The pain they suffer because of who they are, the confusion they feel as they try to sort out their feelings, and the feeling of never quite belonging. Boylan describes herself as an immigrant from the land of "Man," arriving on the shores of "Woman" with all of the privilege of her former life, but also all of the pain. I know that I, for one, am sure glad she made the journey and chose to share it with the world.
For as deeply moving as this book is on a deeper level, it is also refreshingly funny. I loved Boylan's manner of describing her dogs' thoughts and emotions and the many conversations she'd have with them. She describes these dogs so vividly and captures their personalities so well that I feel like I know them. When she described the metamorphosis of her relationship with Penny/Sausage, I cried more than a few tears. She says "I had loved my sad, gelatinous dog with all my heart, for years and years....But then one by one, I put the things of my childhood aside, and Penny was one of them. I held her in my arms, as if she were already gone, as if all these days had long since become a distant memory." That recollection was so painful for me to read, both for the dog being left behind (emotionally) and for the childhood that was lost.
This book was a fantastic read. I have never chosen a memoir by a person that I was unfamiliar with. But this book is so well written, so endearing, and so important that I could not pass it up. I think everyone should read a book like this, to understand how a transgender person moves through the world. The pain they suffer because of who they are, the confusion they feel as they try to sort out their feelings, and the feeling of never quite belonging. Boylan describes herself as an immigrant from the land of "Man," arriving on the shores of "Woman" with all of the privilege of her former life, but also all of the pain. I know that I, for one, am sure glad she made the journey and chose to share it with the world.