Fantastic Tribute and Wonderful Addition to Pride Month
There is only one reason and one reason only why I was tempted to give this book four stars before reconsidering: the tragedy that the publication date is only a little late from Pride Month. The book itself is an absolute delight to read, both insightful and heartbreaking in the story it tells. It is apparent that the author crafted this story mostly as a love letter and tribute to her father.
The titled "closeted gay dad" is a man who struggles with himself and his family, on one hand being devoted to his children and to a certain extent his straight wife, on the other hand being drawn to the openly gay life he briefly had before losing it to the prejudices and homophobia of the early twentieth century. His struggle to live physically by assimilating and live emotionally by rebelling in small and subtle ways makes for an emotional read.
What I really appreciate however, is the balance the author provides by portraying the negative side of her father. He is no martyr to homophobia, a saint who hides his true nature to benefit his family. Rather, he is unfaithful, defensive when his wife finds out he has been lying to her for so many years, and at times it even seems on the verge on abandoning his children to live a carefree life as a single gay bachelor. This fear of being left behind leaves many emotional scars for the rest of his family, particularly in the author's case who apologetically details her own history of infidelity and insecurity in her romantic relationships with men.
Overall, it appears the author's goal is to show unflinchingly the truth: her family was and is human, with many human failings. While love was indeed found in some respects, in other respects it was lost due to societal dictations and cultural norms that are gradually being changed and overturned.
The titled "closeted gay dad" is a man who struggles with himself and his family, on one hand being devoted to his children and to a certain extent his straight wife, on the other hand being drawn to the openly gay life he briefly had before losing it to the prejudices and homophobia of the early twentieth century. His struggle to live physically by assimilating and live emotionally by rebelling in small and subtle ways makes for an emotional read.
What I really appreciate however, is the balance the author provides by portraying the negative side of her father. He is no martyr to homophobia, a saint who hides his true nature to benefit his family. Rather, he is unfaithful, defensive when his wife finds out he has been lying to her for so many years, and at times it even seems on the verge on abandoning his children to live a carefree life as a single gay bachelor. This fear of being left behind leaves many emotional scars for the rest of his family, particularly in the author's case who apologetically details her own history of infidelity and insecurity in her romantic relationships with men.
Overall, it appears the author's goal is to show unflinchingly the truth: her family was and is human, with many human failings. While love was indeed found in some respects, in other respects it was lost due to societal dictations and cultural norms that are gradually being changed and overturned.