Little clunky but not bad

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kathicarp Avatar


I think the story is building up to something cute and interesting but the writing is clunky. Heavy, clumsy exposition and some weird grammar in some sentences that threw me off guard. Tense shifts, too. The tense is the worst part for me. There’s also some strange anachronisms that I could probably overlook. The writing style is fun but unpolished, so I hope they fix that before publishing. The asexual representation was put in very haphazardly so far, coming from an expert. Shout out to the HarperCollins union!