It starts off strong and loses me as it goes.

I start to get hooked and interested and wanting to crawl into the bodies of the two point of view perspective protagonist characters of the stories. And then i'm bombarded with this litany of characters and information and detail dump that just blows and blows and blows through unnecessarily so.

Well done cutting out the audition, if it was unnecessary to the plot. But I am starting to think that it wasn't unnecessary if she's now losing her job and has no bank account worth a damn. I don't give a shit. If I had seen this audition go maybe somewhat smoothly even though she's freaking out that it didnt't. If I saw something that she didn't, maybe I be able to keep my chin up higher while her status quo is torn to pieces before my very eyes and before I am really emotionally connected to her.

Like do we really need all of this information about work drivel as this guy is contemplating the end of life? In fact, do we really even need him contemplating his life so soon in the story? I don't even know him yet and you are wanting me to care about his life being in danger when the work drivel is just proving opposite to the emotional investment point?