characters who hide secrets even from themselves

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The Queen's Assassin is a story about following our heart. Are we just reduced to our duty? To the promises of those that can before us? The ties of our bloodline? Both Shadow and Cal are faced with lives, and futures, they don't want. They both dream of something more even as Cal has grown accustomed never being allowed to dream of anything else. Are we just the roles we've been given?

My main issue with The Queen's Assassin were the characters. At the beginning Cal comes off as someone who is rather arrogant. While he definitely thaws out as the story progresses, he doesn't seem very grateful for Shadow or her talents. I had a soft spot for Cal because it's not that he doesn't want things, it's that he's so used to his duty that he hasn't even dreamt of anything else.

But I had a hard time with Shadow's POV - The Queen's Assassin is written in dual POV. Shadow seemed closed off, like she was hiding secrets from the readers and herself. Having finished The Queen's Assassin, I can see the reasoning why the secrecy and random hidden talents of Shadow, but it was revealed too late. I felt like I never knew her. Like I didn't have a good sense of the emotional turmoil or evolution of Shadow. Because of that, I liked Cal's perspective more, but I really wanted to love Shadow more.