Couldn't make it past the prologue. | BookishFirst

Couldn't make it past the prologue.

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mgardner Avatar


In the 1st paragraph of the prologue, the author mentions the night twice. First it was late at night, then it was midnight. Just say one or the other! Then she writes that it's silent (The snow is or isn't making sound?), but it's icy and stormy out?

This book was reading like it was going to be a great story, but her editor didn't know how to... edit. It reads like they gave a great story to the intern and the office thesarus.

No doubt had I kept reading, I would have read the same story twice just worded differently much like the prologue. Could their have been two different people writing? It feels disjointed and staccato. I had to read the same paragraph through a few times just to try and grasp what I reading. It was like a trying to break a horse instead of beginning an journey.
To me, a epic fantasy tale should have gravitas and flow.

"Brevity is the soul of wit," tape that above this editor's desk before they kill another great story.