Interesting Characters & Plot Hook

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layawaydragon Avatar

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I liked it. It's interesting and grabbed me right away. I like the characters, though Laila seems utterly perfect so far. It does feel like there's trouble building the world. It's noticeable and doesn't blend with the story seamlessly. It does start off building the tension and anticipation though, with the preview stopping at quite the hook.

I think once you get into the world, this'll be amazing. It just needs some set up and leeway to make it happen in the narrative.