Oftentimes I am amazed by the very simple fact that everyone has different lives and lived experiences, which is the reason why I love memoirs. In Marylee MacDonald's book, Surrender: A Memoir of Nature, Nurture, and Love, I was once again greeted with a life experience so unlike my own. I flew through this book in a matter of days and was intrigued not only by the descriptions of the author's pregnancy and adoption processes but also by the complex relationships within the author's life. Marylee MacDonald writes about her own experiences and the personal traumas associated with those experiences in a way that is both heartbreaking and profoundly moving.
What I most enjoyed about this memoir was the writing and descriptions- the author did a fantastic job at illustrating what being an unwed, pregnant teenager might have been like in the 1950's when reproductive rights were non-existent and saving face for both the expectant mother and their families was paramount. Prior to reading this memoir, I was not familiar that the adoption process did not allow for mother's to have no contact with their children, nor was I familiar with the term surrendering a child. Now, I have a clearer understanding of the difficulties these expectant mother's might have gone through as told through the vivid life story of the author.
This leads to what I really appreciated from this book, Marylee MacDonald's frank discussion on trauma surrounding adoption and how it infiltrates every aspect of life and self-worth. The memoir asks the hard question, is nature or nurture more important in the life an adopted child? In the 1950's, adoptions were based primarily on physical attributes rather than personality and little knowledge of the baby's parents was shared with the adoptive parents which could make developing relationships challenging for both adoptive parents and the adopted child. These children knew what nurture was from their adopted parents, but were not permitted to know their nature. The significance of this statement was clearly shown in the author's own and oftentimes strained relationship with her adopted mother, and then further shown by the author's son John and his estranged relationship with his own adopted mother and the importance of the reunion with his own biological mother, Marylee.
I would definitely recommend this memoir to have a better understanding the adoption process for children in the 1950's/1960's and earlier. While I hope that the adoption process has advanced with a better understanding of psychology, it is important to listen to the stories of those who have lived and shared their experiences. I am grateful to Marylee MacDonald for showing what it means to her to heal and for sharing some of the most impactful moments in her life.
What I most enjoyed about this memoir was the writing and descriptions- the author did a fantastic job at illustrating what being an unwed, pregnant teenager might have been like in the 1950's when reproductive rights were non-existent and saving face for both the expectant mother and their families was paramount. Prior to reading this memoir, I was not familiar that the adoption process did not allow for mother's to have no contact with their children, nor was I familiar with the term surrendering a child. Now, I have a clearer understanding of the difficulties these expectant mother's might have gone through as told through the vivid life story of the author.
This leads to what I really appreciated from this book, Marylee MacDonald's frank discussion on trauma surrounding adoption and how it infiltrates every aspect of life and self-worth. The memoir asks the hard question, is nature or nurture more important in the life an adopted child? In the 1950's, adoptions were based primarily on physical attributes rather than personality and little knowledge of the baby's parents was shared with the adoptive parents which could make developing relationships challenging for both adoptive parents and the adopted child. These children knew what nurture was from their adopted parents, but were not permitted to know their nature. The significance of this statement was clearly shown in the author's own and oftentimes strained relationship with her adopted mother, and then further shown by the author's son John and his estranged relationship with his own adopted mother and the importance of the reunion with his own biological mother, Marylee.
I would definitely recommend this memoir to have a better understanding the adoption process for children in the 1950's/1960's and earlier. While I hope that the adoption process has advanced with a better understanding of psychology, it is important to listen to the stories of those who have lived and shared their experiences. I am grateful to Marylee MacDonald for showing what it means to her to heal and for sharing some of the most impactful moments in her life.