First person narrator Holland is a girl with a MFA degree, a cool apartment all to herself in New York, and an entry level job as an archivist which makes her feel as if her life lacks purpose - despite the apartment. So Holland drinks too much and takes taxi rides to the other side of the city so she can drool over a hunky guy who is a street performer. The fact that her gay uncles have a married life that is so culturally successful that they know enough people in New York to get Holland that job and that they are so financially successful that they easily pay most of the rent on her apartment seemed a little too convenient. What are the chances? Readers might struggle - as I did- with Holland's obsessive crush on street performer Calvin which does not end when he flees the scene of her attack. Holland had screamed for help as a deranged seemingly-homeless man chases her in the subway and pushes her onto the train track. Since Calvin fled the scene, the police think Holland jumped onto the tracks in a failed suicide attempt. I don't know how I feel about this book. The age difference seems so unlikely for a love interest. Overall, I think I just can not get into this book.