Heartbreaking

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I wish we could give more nuanced stars because I would go closer to 4 stars than 3. Probably 3.5-3.8. I'm so torn on this. Briget Jones it is NOT, even though that's the blurb it's given (Bridget Jones meets Americanah, and I'm sorry to say I haven't read that yet, so I can't speak to that half of the comparison). That was a bumbling story about a goofy girl that...well, I'm not writing a review about that so not wasting any more time there. There's a lot good about this story, and there's a lot problematic about this story, and there's a lot that I feel like it's not even my place to speak on as a white woman. Queenie starts the story in a break up with her white boyfriend. The entirety of the first good half of the book is taken up by that. One of his family members is AWFUL. Racist, rude, horrible, flat out awful to her, and while, yes there are moments in their relationship that she's pushed him away and picked petty arguments with him, this was a shining moment for him to WTF himself out of his family's house until they apologized to her. He didn't. He let her make a cold, dark walk to a bus bench and sit there for hours, to what? Think about what awful choice she'd made by storming out, rightfully angry? Pfft. Boy, please. But...she doesn't boy please. She tries to forget it happened, and gets confused when he says he needs "time apart." She spends the next moooonths making terrible sexual decisions, placing herself in horrible, dangerous positions, this gets DARK ya'll. Two of her friends, Darcy and Kyazike are gems and stay by her side throughout, but one friend ends up in a huge plot twist and you'll wish she would kick her to the curb for good. The girl has no redeeming qualities. Carty-Williams makes mental health issues a primary topic in this novel, really delving into the hurt and pain that Queenie dealt with in her childhood, from abandonment by her father, to the abuse she and her mother suffered at the hands of Roy, all of which get brought up in therapy during a hiatus she is forced to take from work. I feel like the real glory of this book is the end, duh - when is it not, but truthfully not all book are great at the end. She has made leaps and bounds finding herself again after dealing with some really painful memories, and making some real growth when it comes to learning from how her origin shaped who she is as an adult. Purely from the standpoint of a woman, it was really painful to read some of what this character put herself through. My heart broke for so many times through this book but that's the mark of a well written character. That we care enough that they're healing, and that we're glad they have the support systems in place that Queenie had when she comes out the other side.