Learning How To Navigate Love and One's Sexuality

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Learning how to navigate love and one's sexuality
I was lucky enough to have won In at the Deep End by Kate Davies in a contest on Bookish. It was not by any means my typical book that I am drawn to but it sounded interesting and I decided to give it a try. It had been compared to Bridget Jones but I did not see that at all. I was not prepared for the very graphic sex scenes within the book but I felt that Kate Davies made the characters in this book believable and unforgettable.

As the story started, Julia, a twenty-six year old single female, made it known that she had not had sex in three years, as she listened to sounds of her roommate, Alice, and boyfriend, Dave, having what sounded like good, passionate sex in the next room. Julia's sexual experiences, the ones she had had in the past, were far from satisfying or good. She lived in London and shared a flat with her best friend from University. Julia had been a dancer but when she broke her ankle doing a pirouette during practice for the English National Ballet's production of The Nutcracker, she knew her life long dream of being a dancer was over. She now held a less than satisfying and not very challenging job as a civil servant at the Department of Health and Social Care.

One night, Julia was invited to a party at a warehouse where very "artsy" and trendy guests who have lots of sex would be present. Julia decided to go and she met someone, but not a man. Julia met a woman artist who awakened her sexuality. She discovered that she preferred women over men. Julia meets Sam and slowly she explored her "Lesbian life" and watched it as it began to evolve. She joined other lesbians for weekly swing dance lessons. Some of the members in that group became some of Julia's closest friends and confidants. Slowly, as Julia emerged herself in her "lesbian Life" as she allowed Sam to introduce her to London's gay bars and BDSM clubs, she began to see a side of Sam that she was not sure she really liked. Julia was so dependent and in love with Sam, though, that she made excuses for her and covered up a lot of the hurtful things and experiences Sam inflicted upon Julia. Julia soon realized that Sam was not happy unless she was in charge and calling the shots.

I felt sorry for Julia at times and angry as well. She felt so little for herself and so insecure that she made herself a target for controlling Sam. She took all the verbal and emotional abuse that Sam inflicted upon her and still thought something was wrong with her. Finally, when Julia was able to look at things objectively she saw what her relationship with Sam was doing to her. Thank goodness her friends and family were there for her, too.

In at the Deep End by Kate Davies was an eye opening book for me. I don't consider myself a prude but I could have done with some less graphic descriptions of the many sexual encounters. There was a message in this book, though. Julia evolved, found herself and even came to like herself and accept who she was. This book was definitely not for everyone. If you could stick with it, though, its message outweighed some of the raunchy parts. I would rate this book down to a 3.5.