I really enjoyed this excerpt! The magic system set up already feels both relatively concrete in what it's capable of but also full of potential for a lot of cool stuff, and the times we see Shay use her magic so far feel methodical and interesting. Shay is set up very well as a character with concrete goals, motivations, and traitss that are all apparent right from the start, and her relationships with her parents, friendship with Lex, and rivalry with Ana all feel very real. Her circumstances immediately feel realistic and compelling, and I think the style captures her personality and age very well also.