One of my favorite books this year!

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Thank you to Bookishfirst for giving me a chance to win a copy of this Arc.

When I read the first few pages of it on the Bookishfirst website, I knew I needed this book. If I didn’t win it in their raffle giveaway, then I would have eventually bought it. A Korean-American who wants to date a white girl? Here I am, a Filipino-American woman who married a white guy. I could relate.

I got the book the other day and finished it in one day. This book IS the story of my young adult years. Well it’s Frank’s story but wow, did it hit the bullseye. This story is about Frank Li, born in America, raised with Korean immigrant parents, trying to balance being American and being Korean – it is complicated. I am not Korean-American, I am Filipino-American, but it all resonated with me. This book hit me hard it also made me cry.

It could just be a book about a boy with immigrant parents, trying to date outside of his race, but this book is way more than that. It explored racism exhibited by his own parents and discrimination among their own race by their own race. I was like. Yes, yes and YES! And then when the difference between Frank and his white girlfriend, Brit, reveals itself in certain situations especially in the way her parents treat her and the way his parents treat him I thought I was having a flashback of my own life. The openness American families have (at least in Brit’s family) and the way they shared affection struck a chord in me. I struggled with that too – my parents were never affectionate or said I love you. I accepted as an adult that they showed their love through hard work and giving me a roof over my head and food to eat and sent me to college. They worked their bodies to the bone to give my sister and I an easier life in America. It made my heart ache when Frank realizes a few things about his parents and seeing Frank come to understand (good for him as a teen-because it took me awhile) that sacrifice from his parents equaled love. I saw me in him.

As for Frank and fake-dating his friend Joy, it was a pretty good plan but it was bound to hurt some people if the truth was let out. Without giving spoilers, I’ll just say he’s a teenager, confused about love and his role in life, and absolutely allowed to make his mistakes.

The part that made me cry was because of the family aspect of the book. It’s kind of amazing when you learn that your parents once upon a time were young and scared too. Sometimes we forget parents and grandparents were young too. I felt Frank’s desire to do the right thing, please his parents but try to be happy too. It’s a hard thing to achieve so young especially when he sees what happens to his older sister, Hannah, when she dates an African-American boy. And when something serious happens to his dad, it makes him deal with certain things much quicker than he expected. What is he supposed to do?

This book made me realize we all struggle in some capacity with our family, our friends, our love-lives, and trying to find our way through life and figuring our own selves out. Love sometimes doesn’t look like the kind of love you thought it should resemble. We are not perfect, we do not know how to get along with the rest of society or our own family, perfectly – we are not experts on each other’s cultures or way of life but we can be open, we can learn. We make mistakes, but we try to learn and figure things out. We live, we love, we get lost, we find our way, we reach the highs of happiness and we feel the lows of loss and despair. And we keep going, trying to make sense of life and who we really are.

This story reminded me I wasn’t alone in my thoughts and struggle as a child/teen/young adult. I think my heart broke for Frank Li and sixteen year old me. There were so many passages in this book I wanted to underline, but I don’t mark my books! There was a part in this book where Frank Li says one day his own kids will have parents who are open and show affection. My sister and I said that too before we had kids. We said, WE will show our kids so much love, show affection and say I love you…😭 And with our kids now, my parents have learned to say I love you to their grandchildren all the time and shower them with so much hugs and affection. ❤️

I could say so much about this book but this would be a super long post. It’s funny, touching, eye-opening, heart-warming, heart-breaking, and written beautifully. Of course it is, how did I not know until the end that Nicola Yoon (The Sun Is Also a Star) is his wife? She writes beautifully as well! What a duo!

I’m Frankly In Love with this book. I can say this is one of my favorite books this year.