The story that we're dropped into sounds promising. Right at the beginning, we're dropped into a dangerous situation, and we learn more details about it as the story progresses. I do want to find out what happens to the characters.
However, the writing itself detracts from the storytelling. Some punctuation is out of place, parts of the narrative are told in sentence fragments, and there are places where sentence structure is rough. I think I'll be really interested in the final product once the language is polished a bit.
However, the writing itself detracts from the storytelling. Some punctuation is out of place, parts of the narrative are told in sentence fragments, and there are places where sentence structure is rough. I think I'll be really interested in the final product once the language is polished a bit.