DNF @ 42%
At this point I think I’m giving up on Tricia Levenseller and taking Daughter of the Pirate King off my TBR. If you liked The Shadows Between Us (I didn’t), then you’ll probably like this one too. Because my problem with this and her other book is the writing itself. It’s just way too cringey/ juvenile IMO. And I *know* it’s YA. But these characters are meant to be around 18, and frankly, I don’t believe 17-20 year olds act, talk, or think like this.
Let me give some examples (I redacted potential spoilers):
Ex 1: “I happen to glance over at Kellyn, and when I do my eyes instantly meet his. I look away hastily before I can see any sort of expression cross his face. He was watching me. Staring at me? Yes, because I’m the bladesmith. I posses magic. I’m strange, and it’s natural for him to be curious about me. A few minutes later when I catch him doing it again, I say “Stop that.”
“Stop what?” The mercenary asks.
“You’re looking at me.”
“You’re looking at me,” he counters.
“Only because you’re looking at me!”
“If you say so.”
“It’s the truth.”
My whole body feels overheated, as if I’m back in the forge…I don’t like knowing this man thinks I’m beautiful.
“It’s the sun,” he says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“What?”
“All the sunshine. It’s making even more freckles burst across your arms and face.”
“So? You’ve never seen someone with freckles before?”
“They’re even on your lips,” he says peering closer.
“Stop looking at my lips!” I clap a hand over my mouth to make it impossible for him… Who even pays attention to lips? And how does Kellyn not have a single freckle on him? His hair is red, after all. Don’t those two always go together? Instead the sun is darkening his skin, making it glow almost. I huff. I’m not impressed by him. And his lips are stupid. Look at them. All symmetrical with the lower slightly bigger than the upper.”
Ex 2: This one may be spoilery but happens very early on in the book. Hazel (17-18 years old) tries to kiss Ziva. Ziva rejects him. He then runs from the room to his dad, the governor, and tells him that Ziva punched Hazel in the face. Ziva proves he’s lying by showing her intact knuckles and tells the whole story. The governor’s response is to stop the party they’re all attending at his house (100+ people) and ask them to leave so he can discipline his son for lying. Let me repeat- This politician in his 40s announces to 100 people that his son lied about being kissed and they need to leave so he can be punished. Hazel, still pissed, then ruins Ziva’s sister’s reputation at school and ransacks her forge. An 18 year old. That upset about being turned down for a kiss and embarrassed his daddy caught him lying. After this scene, I literally wrote “what in the wattpad did I just read”.
Beyond those issues, there’s instalove and the fact that Seva somehow never before considered her weapons could cause harm if in the wrong hands. She had to have a *realization* that swords can, in fact, kill whomever the wielder wants. You’re telling me weapons can be used for bad? Shocking.
I know I’m really going in on this book, so here’s some positives: I like that she (Seva) is six feet tall and buff. And the premise is interesting, being able to forge magical weapons. I also liked that the governor was in a happy gay marriage and had a son.
In all, my main issue with this would be solved if the characters were aged down to like 13-14. I don’t have a problem with YA that reads young. But it’s jarring when the characters are meant to be 17-18 and they don’t act like it. It doesn’t help that the writing itself comes off as juvenile. All telling (vs showing), stilted dialogue, and extremely predictable.
At this point I think I’m giving up on Tricia Levenseller and taking Daughter of the Pirate King off my TBR. If you liked The Shadows Between Us (I didn’t), then you’ll probably like this one too. Because my problem with this and her other book is the writing itself. It’s just way too cringey/ juvenile IMO. And I *know* it’s YA. But these characters are meant to be around 18, and frankly, I don’t believe 17-20 year olds act, talk, or think like this.
Let me give some examples (I redacted potential spoilers):
Ex 1: “I happen to glance over at Kellyn, and when I do my eyes instantly meet his. I look away hastily before I can see any sort of expression cross his face. He was watching me. Staring at me? Yes, because I’m the bladesmith. I posses magic. I’m strange, and it’s natural for him to be curious about me. A few minutes later when I catch him doing it again, I say “Stop that.”
“Stop what?” The mercenary asks.
“You’re looking at me.”
“You’re looking at me,” he counters.
“Only because you’re looking at me!”
“If you say so.”
“It’s the truth.”
My whole body feels overheated, as if I’m back in the forge…I don’t like knowing this man thinks I’m beautiful.
“It’s the sun,” he says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“What?”
“All the sunshine. It’s making even more freckles burst across your arms and face.”
“So? You’ve never seen someone with freckles before?”
“They’re even on your lips,” he says peering closer.
“Stop looking at my lips!” I clap a hand over my mouth to make it impossible for him… Who even pays attention to lips? And how does Kellyn not have a single freckle on him? His hair is red, after all. Don’t those two always go together? Instead the sun is darkening his skin, making it glow almost. I huff. I’m not impressed by him. And his lips are stupid. Look at them. All symmetrical with the lower slightly bigger than the upper.”
Ex 2: This one may be spoilery but happens very early on in the book. Hazel (17-18 years old) tries to kiss Ziva. Ziva rejects him. He then runs from the room to his dad, the governor, and tells him that Ziva punched Hazel in the face. Ziva proves he’s lying by showing her intact knuckles and tells the whole story. The governor’s response is to stop the party they’re all attending at his house (100+ people) and ask them to leave so he can discipline his son for lying. Let me repeat- This politician in his 40s announces to 100 people that his son lied about being kissed and they need to leave so he can be punished. Hazel, still pissed, then ruins Ziva’s sister’s reputation at school and ransacks her forge. An 18 year old. That upset about being turned down for a kiss and embarrassed his daddy caught him lying. After this scene, I literally wrote “what in the wattpad did I just read”.
Beyond those issues, there’s instalove and the fact that Seva somehow never before considered her weapons could cause harm if in the wrong hands. She had to have a *realization* that swords can, in fact, kill whomever the wielder wants. You’re telling me weapons can be used for bad? Shocking.
I know I’m really going in on this book, so here’s some positives: I like that she (Seva) is six feet tall and buff. And the premise is interesting, being able to forge magical weapons. I also liked that the governor was in a happy gay marriage and had a son.
In all, my main issue with this would be solved if the characters were aged down to like 13-14. I don’t have a problem with YA that reads young. But it’s jarring when the characters are meant to be 17-18 and they don’t act like it. It doesn’t help that the writing itself comes off as juvenile. All telling (vs showing), stilted dialogue, and extremely predictable.